Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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