He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
