just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize