i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
