how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
