i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize