Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
