I didn't shave. On purpose
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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