oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize