The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
