Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize