No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
