Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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