you mean i was at the winter classic?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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