So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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