So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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