wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize