you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
