I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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