Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
