Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My balls are so social today.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
