I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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