my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no you cant smoke seaweed
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
