Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
