So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
