we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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