marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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