Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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