If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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