i may or may not be watching the land before time
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
