The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
