Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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