No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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