2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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