You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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