he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
