he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
