So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
