Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
