spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
