I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
