Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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