I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
