He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
