Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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