I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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