How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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