We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
