I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
