If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The adults are the big ones right?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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