i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
