so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize