you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Pooping to opera.
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