I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
