saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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