I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Randomize
