I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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