So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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