Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
