the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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