Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
