In the future we'll all be gay
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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