my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
